Day 3…

…and the aches have (all but) gone.  Isn’t the human body a marvellous thing?  My sister, a doctor, has a miracle cure that works for 95% of all problems.  It is the ‘Baked Bean’ cure*.  Obviously, organic Heinz work best, but any baked beans will do.

At the onset of symptoms, eat half a tin of baked beans every day for a week.  If the symptoms have not cleared up, double the dosage and eat a tin of beans every day for the next week.  At the end of this course of treatment, 95% of ailments will have cleared up.  Due purely to the miraculous healing power of beans (o yes, and the human body).

Following Kaye’s advice, I scouted out a new route for today.  Who knew there were so many parks, greens and commons within spitting distance of my house?  I went for a small common.  Three circuits of about 1.5km.  This route comes with built in weight training.  By the end of it, I was carrying my own weight in mud and leaf mould on the bottom of my shoes.  It also has ducks, (grey) squirrels, dogs and children.  Very picturesque.

*This does not consitute real medical advice.  For that, you need to visit a doctor.  But remember, before you go to A&E, ask yourself two questions:

  1. Is it an accident?
  2. Is it an emergency?
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About abradypus

A Bradypus or Sloth am I, I live a life of ease, contented not to do or die but idle as I please; ... [Michael Flanders and Donald Swann]
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11 Responses to Day 3…

  1. does the baked bean cure work to cure excessive flatulence?
    Nice run today xx

  2. fortnightflo says:

    lol – I am going to try that to see if it keeps my aches away for the month! Beans on toast for brekkie every day it is then…

  3. stephenamp says:

    I agree with the baked bean cure! It’s a scientific fact. (And by scientific fact I mean I have no knowledge of the science behind it… fact.)

    The “built in weight training” reminds me of all these parks that now have exercise stations in them. When I first went to California a few years ago they had “Get fit in your town” signs everywhere with routes and mile markers, and lots of people would use them. I’d be jogging along and everyone would say “Good morning” – just seemed like a great idea. Now they’ve come over here and are mostly places for ASBOs to hang out and graffiti. It’s quite sad that we lack that sense of community in the UK – I seem to have gone off point a little but it kind of ties into your A&E comment. The people that don’t ask those questions can usually be found graffiti-ing our exercise stations… when they’re not increasing the waiting time for my broken arm that is!

    And hands off my cushions! 😛

  4. shazruns says:

    Beans a miracle food-fantastic should feel amazing for my 4.45 am run then as had them for lunch to day and dinner last night. Also have masses of cans under the stairs at the moment as Tesco had them on offer buy one four pack get 2 four packs free and I cant resist a bargain.

  5. Well I know the about the rocket power of baked beans…. will try them as a cure all too, hope the non organic version work as well!!

  6. Paul says:

    Great tip – baked potato and beans will be the meal tonight

  7. beans, beans, the musical fruit…

  8. abradysis says:

    Being said sister I had to “like” this post 🙂

  9. Pingback: Mission of mercy | abradypus

  10. What if I have been stabbed on purpose? Then where do I go?

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