The London Ultra – a personal race report

If you want a full, detailed report which includes pictures and details of the route then I suggest you head on over to read Totkat‘s comprehensive version of events.

My race was neatly summed up by @N0rm as follows:

And in detail, went something like this:

Wheeeee!

Mile 1 – 12:20 – bottleneck over a footbridge, feeling fine

Mile 2 – 10:02 – ooops – that’s a bit fast, ease off!

Mile 3 – 10:12 – still a bit fast, ease off, I tell you!

Mile 4 – 10:53 – that’s more like it!

Mile 5 – 9:56 – look. Muppet.  EASE OFF!

Mile 6 – 10:02 – but it feels soooo goood!

Mile 7 – 10:49 – I don’t care – ease off!

Mile 8 – 11:39 – save some energy and power hike a hill

Mile 9 – 10:06 – blimey, the first 90 mins went by quickly.

Mile 10 – 9:37 – Wheeeeeeee! down the hill

Mile 11 – 10:45 – Crossing the road, not being sensible.

Wobbling wheels

Mile 12 – 10:21 – Left foot beginning to feel like it’s been attacked with a wire brush

Mile 13 – 10:30 – Yup – definitely a wire brush.

Mile 14 – 10:52 – Or possibly acid.

Mile 15 – 11:44 – Bored now.

Mile 16 – 10:34 – Oooh.  Magdalene Road.  I like this bit.  1 mile of down hill.

Mile 17 – 10:39 – Getting a rhythm going.

Mile 18 – 11:49 – No, random passer-by, I don’t want to stop to chat.  I’m wearing a race number.  Why would you try to talk to me?  Just why?

Wheels be gone

Mile 19 – 12:46 – Oh, god, a hill.  A great big hill.  Up to Wimbledon Common.  Power hiking here I come.

Mile 20 – 14:37 – Where I stopped to chat with a friend, got a hug from her kids and resisted the urge to just run home.

Mile 21 – 14:57 – I lost a shoe in the mud.  On the plus side, I was carrying spare socks.

Mile 22 – 12:57 – I walked anything that wasn’t downhill.

Mile 23 – 13:27 – I promised myself I’d run just as soon as I got to the towpath

Mile 24 – 12:39 – I discovered that I had been lying to myself.

Mile 25 – 14:09 – I seriously considered begging a lift from my checkpoint buddy (the marvellous N0rm).

Wheels re-attached with pipe cleaners and sticky backed plastic

Mile 26 – 10:37 – My checkpoint buddy said “you’ve only 11km to go”

Mile 27 – 12:18 – I played hare and tortoise with a 100 marathon clubber

Mile 28 – 11:06 – Ditto

Mile 29 – 11:32 – I overhauled the 100 marathon clubber and played hare and tortoise with red t-shirt man

Mile 30 – 12:23 – I really rued not having checked out the last section of the course so that I would have been prepared for the muddy gooey section

Mile 31 – 13:18 – I didn’t appear to be anywhere near the end.

Wheels come off again and roll away into the canal

Mile 32 – 14:35 – Who put this mile here?  Seriously?  Where is the end?  I. Want. The. End.

Mile 32.25 – 3:04 – Oh, thank God.

Collapsed in a heap.